I'm gonna see a man about a dog: I'm going to go to the toilet
Do you fancy a cuppa?: Do you want a cup of tea?
You're such a CHAV: You are Council House And Vulgar
I'll have a gander: I'll have a look
I'm gobsmacked: I'm absolutely shocked
They had Hanky Panky: They made love
I'll haggle with him: I'll do a deal with him
It's not my cup of tea: It's not your thing
I'm doing stretch in porridge: To spend some time in prison
Someone called you a nitwit: You're a little stupid i****'
I'm plastered: You're hammered
That's so naff: It's not good. It's gross
Get on your bike: Get out of here
Stop spreading porkies: Stop spreading lies
Shut your mush: Shut your mouth
I'm zonked: I'm high out of my mind
Stop pratting around: Stop messing around
I'm gonna have a kip: I'm going to have a nap
I'm chuffed with that: I'm really happy
It's gone a bit pear-shaped: It's gone not how we planned
There isn't any bog roll: There isn't any toilet roll
It's absolutely Choc-O-Block: It's rammed/busy
It's absolutely minging: It's smelly/gross
Come on, let's leg it: Let's run
They've got the lurgy: You are ill
Stap waffling: Stop yapping
I'm gonna skive today: I'm gonna miss school
I'm absolutely snookered: You don't know what to do
That's sod's law: It's so typical that happened
Toodle pip: See you later